Wednesday, March 16, 2011

"Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella" by MeraNaamJoker

           Alright folks, it’s another week, another recommendation. This week, I recommend you get over and read MeraNaamJoker’s Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella. This is a Paul/Bella pairing, with all the drama that ensues when these two get together. The story begins with Bella up on the cliffs; but before she can jump, Paul intervenes and pulls her away from the edge. When he goes to confront her on why she jumped, he imprints and they get down and dirty on the cliffs. And then a few more times in various locations around Bella’s house. Confused by their feelings and not wanting to ruin their relationship with Jake because of their imprinting, Paul tries to break the imprint by running away to Canada (Now why does that sound familiar?). While Paul is on his Canadian excursion, Bella gets a chance to see the Paul that nobody knew, the Paul he kept hidden from the rest of the pack (Hint: Brawn AND brains! He’s to die for!) Unable to resist the pull he feels, Paul goes running back to Bella, and they make up with a nice little lemon. But the threat of Victoria still looms, and after setting a trap to lure her in, the pack dispatches her with the help of a certain all-seeing pixie vamp.

           Throughout the story, Bella is dealing with a struggle within herself between the different parts of herself; Edward’s Bella, Jake’s Bells, and Paul’s Isabella. Each one looking after their own interests, especially the part of her that wants to keep their imprinting secret to stay friends with Jake. This issue causes a fair few fights between the happy couple, but once their secret’s out and Jake knows, things all start to fall into place. Victoria is taken care of, Jake comes around to their imprint, and Bella’s inner selves come together at last:

I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to do it until I heard the words come out of my mouth. "I love you, Paul."

Was that you? I asked the other-me, but she was silent. She didn't love Paul, she just owned him. The love was all me.

Holding my breath, I looked at Paul and waited. Please don't say it, please don't say it. I knew how he felt. I didn't need to hear "I love you." It sounded way too much like "I'll leave you."

He didn't say it, of course, so I smiled at him, and tugged his mouth down to mine. When he lifted his head again, he looked serious. "Thanks. I know you didn't want to say it, so . . . Thanks."

"I meant it." I shrugged a little, leaning up to kiss his chin. "If you need to hear it, then I need to say it. I mean, I don't have to, but I want to. You're my Paul, but I'm your Isabella. Okay?" I knew I couldn't give him the reassurance he offered me so regularly. I couldn't claim to be all his. Not yet. There were too many pieces of me fragmented and lodged in other hearts. So I put what I had on the table. "I'm only ever Isabella for you." I waited to see if that would be enough for him.

"That's the only you I want," Paul replied, and he smiled when he said it.

The room spun around him, dislodged from its usual gravity by the drugs I'd taken. He was the only stable thing in front of me, but he was enough. I raised my hand to caress his cheek, feeling the other-me and the Bella-me and the Bells-me move and turn and reorganize inside at his words, clicking with the Isabella-me to form something new. Something that maybe really was all his. This was the reassurance I could offer, so I said it out loud: "Then that's the only me I want to be," and pulled him into my embrace.

           The story has a beautiful ending; with the pair attend the wedding of Jake and his imprint, Amanda. After the event and a discussion of the future, MeraNaamJoker brings the story full circle; the couple taking a dive of the La Push cliffs. It’s a sweet story, and doesn’t short on the angst.

So grab a drink and enjoy!

“Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella” by MeraNaamJoker:

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